Friday, August 20, 2010

Grace leading to gratitude...

As I watch my twins peacefully sleep, tears flow down my cheek. How did we get here? Not existence, but in our particular situation. Choice. We make big choices, small daily choices and every kind of choice in between. I remember praying long and hard for the family I have today. But praying isn’t the only way they got here. God gave grace. Action followed those prayers. My choices followed those prayers. When I look back on the past 8 years of my twins precious lives I see so clearly how I made some sound and just choices for our well being. Then I am equally reminded of the very stupid and damaging choices I have made that could potentially harm the well being of my family. And still God gives grace. I didn’t DO anything to deserve a blessed life and yet God allows me to fall on my face, make my mistakes, have faulty opinions, make poor judgments, think selfishly, and have bad attitudes; all with total acceptance of who I am. Despite my flaws I am allowed to experience some of the most beautiful things in this world. Like a random hug from my son or a kiss on the cheek with an “I love you” from my daughter. I have the ability to watch them while they sleep without a worry in the world.

So I want to take time out and remember what I am truly grateful for…

A husband who is willing to work one million hours to provide for his family and love us beyond worldly limits, a best friend who accepts, understands and loves me just because I am me, a mommy who is a mother, sister and friend, a close knit family, children who exude joy, my first daughter who passed and the lessons she taught me of what family really means, meeting my father – having him live and die with me and experiencing all the wonders of getting to know an entire family I never had before, lifelong friendships, the option to stay home and pursue my dreams, my health, challenges in my life that help me grow into a better person, the free will to choose, my spirituality, and the beautiful details in nature – like: sunsets, the smell of flowers, ocean beaches, trees, birds, clouds and starry nights. I am grateful for the breath of life.


  1. Michelle:

    God has truly provided with you an indepth insight of what His vision and purpose is for you. We as fleshly beings tend to take advantage of the gifts that God has blessed us with along with the fact that when things do not go our way, we want to "help God along" instead of allowing Him to be who he is in our lives.

    We are all going through our own personal and spiritual journeys and my prayer for you is that you continue to seek God's grace and wisdom in your life and that you continue to seek His face daily. To God be the Glory!

    Be Blessed.

  2. Wow, what can I say, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding us all of how truly blessed we are. I often sit back and have the very same thoughts as I look at how far God has brought me. Wondering how did I get here and why does God love me so much. Lord knows we could be anywhere but here.


  3. Well put Michelle. I often think similar thoughts myself. Thank you for stating them so beautifully. I have to add that your blessed life has spilled into other's lives as well. With the witness you give them by living it as beautifully as you do. In turn, helping them to grow and realize the blessings they have in life. I myself know that first hand my friend. Thank you.

  4. Sis- there are no words to express the way I feel after reading about your 2011 journey and this post "grace leading to gratitude"... I can't stop the stream of tears flowing down my face..It feels as if you have given my soul a more will I need to try and decipher its urges, and wailing..
    I have been hearing "SILENCE" for the past 3 years.. I feel like a jar that is filled with greatness yet my jar is flawed. It has a slight crack at the bottom that is invisible to the naked eye. Only I and God know that it is there. I must seal that crack so that I can fulfill His purpose for my life.
    I am so grateful that you said "yes" to His will for your life because you are truly a blessing to us all. Thanks for reminding me that He loves me and He cares. Peace to you...

  5. Most Human Actions have one or more of the following Causes: Chance, Nature, Compulsion, Habit, Reason, Passion and Desire... What matters most and has the greatest impact on our lives, is simply how we choose to use them. I have no doubt that regardless of how u chose 2 use these terms in the past, while taking into consideration how they've impacted your life in the present day; you will continue to grow stronger by overcoming everyday adversity. Claim your Victory!!

  6. Wow 3 years have passed and I remember our conversations about this moment of silence and the time has arrived. Well I look forward to witness this new journey in your life as well as participant in this wonderful process of growth and revelation of change! Your sista, friends4ever....Jedda!

  7. Its beautiful that u understands who u are and where u been and how ur goin to get there that's a hard but beautiful thing. I admire u for things u done and things u are about to do. I was doin some soul searchin myself things I've done and things I need to finished. Like my grandmother always said I dare u to trust in him the day u do things will come clear to u. I've been looking hard at that man in the mirror trying to fix or repair the cracks I've seen still have away to go but u inspire me. May jehovah always bless u long as u trust in him.