Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Blindsided once again....

We all have our stone to carry. Some carry smooth light stones, others heavy jagged ones, and still others may have granite, coral, marble or even coal! Then there are those who have diamonds... Our lot in life is uniquely "ours". I alone am responsible for my attitude and how I choose to encounter life. Typically I go through my day with this realization showing itself in some form or fashion. On the positive side I am a rock able to celebrate my individuality and the freedom of forging my own path. On the opposite end of the spectrum I may encounter criticism for the way I look, dress, think, interact with people or raise my children. Whether positive or negative my approach and response to life's many twists and turns is usually seasoned with ginger. My optimistic outlook is due partly because at a very young age I wholeheartedly believed in myself and accepted my choices, and partly because I am partly insane.
The opinions that really affect me are from my closest relationships. I was never one to acquire the attitude of caring what the populous thought. I am comfortable in my skin. Then there are days like today.... Incapacitated as if in quick sand. One small comment from someone I love dearly has burrowed its way into my self esteem and has taken a gut shot at my pride. Sometimes intellect and logic don't have a defense against the monster of emotion. Somewhere in my brain I know I am not supposed to be emotionally crushed so easily. However, my love and respect for this person has worked against me like kryptonite. I am rendered powerless. Being vulnerable hurts... oh yeah that's what happens when you leave yourself vulnerable. I guess my stone has cracks in it.


  1. Honey,that emotion that you are feeling is a good thing.Generally the only way this can happen is when you open yourself to others especially those you love. The reason I said it is a good thing.Is this is a signal that you are alive and a caring person.Not cold and uncaring. Some things our brains cannot guard against from the ones that we love.

    Love SanMan

  2. I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish I had something deep to say, but I usually look to you for that. :) So, I will just say that I Love and admire you. XO

  3. Hi baby girl this uncle Willie and I just want to tell you emotion, negativity and "a little insane" is due to believe it or not from satan, but you can conquer this by first calling and keeping "YHWH/GOD" in your heart. We war not against flesh, but evil spirits bcause you are a child of "YHWH/GOD". Always remember that HE loves you so very much and so do I. Let not your HEART be troubled but give all things to HIM that created us all. It is a good thing that you are going to try and be silent for the year of 2011 just keep "YHWH/GOD" in your life and you will do great things for HIS glory.

    Love you very much,
    Uncle Willie

  4. Michelle, I love your openess, your willingness to share your feelings and thoughts with everyone. Thank you for that. I don't know what was said but I have felt the stinging pain of a comment from someone I hold dear, look up to and trust. More than once I have been on the recieving end of my mothers barbs...she may not even realize how hurtful she is but what I've found is that after I get over the initial shock and pain of hearing it, I start to really examine myself to see where that might have come from. I have been accused of thinking too much, many times, and I suppose I do think and internalize a lot but I like to try to figure things out. Sometimes I come up with nothing...i find that i either have to realize the comment had nothing to do with me at all and is just someone lashing out in the throes of their own pain, low self esteem or ignorance and other times the comment was right and i just didn't see how accurate it really was until someone brought it up.
    Your not a robot, your a human being and you have emotions, these are not a bad thing, examine them, feel them, understand them and fix or accept what you find.. then move know who you are and what your about. Sometimes you just have to spend some quality time with yourself to remember that.
    I love you!

  5. Hey Michelle:
    Sometimes, things or situations are placed in our path to test us to see what we are truly made of. I have been on the receiving end of hurtful things being said and done to me . I cry my tears and have myself a good old fashioned pity party and then I pick myself up and dust myself off and remember two things:

    "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names or people will never hurt me" -Author Unknown
    "No weapon formed against me shall prosper"-Author GOD
    So the next time you feel your rock start to crack, just remember that the One who created you is strenghtening you for even greater things and you will be a strong rock for someone when they need you to be.
    Be Blessed.