Stacy Thomas - Retirement Ceremony

Art Opening - AWESOME evening!

Last night's Veterans Art Show was a huge success! The other veteran's artwork was deep and insightful. Their words were moving and brought tears to many eyes. It is an honor to be part of such a high caliber group. I look forward to many more shows with the Veterans Art Foundation.
Thank you to all my friends and family who came out to support this event or to those who sent an encouraging word. I truly appreciate the love! It motivates me to get back into the studio!!!
Peace

Veterans Show!

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT!!! My art opening is tonight! It's a big one! It features five of my most recent work and the other artists are all veterans! It's a great opportunity for me. I'm very excited about it. The gallery is at 100 Pearl Street, Downtown Hartford. From 4-7pm. Please come out and support my efforts in the arts. Thank you.

Veterans Art Show!

OK....THIS IS THE ONE!!!
For ALL the people who frequently ask when am I showing my artwork...HERE'S THE SHOW TO GO TO!!!
Five pieces of my most thought provoking artwork to date is being featured in a Veterans Show.
The pieces submitted reflect how my Year of Silence influenced my current body of work. Such topics as social injustice, denied freedom and historical honor grace my canvas and ignite social commentary. Seeing the pieces in person is electrifying.

I was also selected as one of the veteran artists to speak about their selected artwork at the Fundraising Reception on June 10, 2015. (4:30pm-7:00pm)

The Greater Hartford Art Council in partnership with the Veterans Art Foundation are featuring veteran artists in an art exhibition from May 18 to July 17, 2015. 

The GHAC is one of the most prominent arts organizations in our State. The Opening Reception is on May 28th from 5-7pm and the Fundraising Reception is on June 10 from 4:30pm-7:00pm. The June 10th fundraiser will feature 2 veteran speakers (one of which is Michelle Thomas) and veteran musicians.

We encourage you to attend both receptions as supporters of the GHAC, the Veterans Art Foundation a.d the veteran artists. GHAC would like you to meet and greet the artists featured in the exhibition.

Art Space - Corporate Building
100 Pearl Street
Hartford CT

Exhibit runs from:
May 18 – July 17, 2015
Opening Reception:
Thursday, May 28, 2015 
5:00pm-7:00pm

Fundraiser Reception
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
4:30pm-7:00pm

Please come out to both receptions and support my endeavors in the arts!
Thank you.

Blood on the Leaves - Michelle Thomas

The current juried show at the West Hartford Art League is showcasing some beautiful artwork from the New England area.

One of my recent pieces is in the show, entitled "Blood on the Leaves" (Michelle Thomas). The subject matter of my new series of work deals with honoring the unknown or forgotten lives of African Americans lynched in this country. It stems from the united energy protesters in current times display while holding signs that say, "black lives matter".

Please go down to the gallery and check out the show and see my piece in person. It's raw and thought provoking yet the treatment of the subject matter is handled delicately.

CT+6, April 23 - May 31, 2015.

THE WEST HARTFORD ART LEAGUE | 37 BUENA VISTA RD WEST HARTFORD CT 06107 | (860) 231-8019

Gallery Hours:
Thursday-Sunday: 1-4 pm

18-Artistic Expressions-Emery Austin Smith

The mission of peace...

     It's so easy to feel and embrace peace in the early morning. All is quiet. Most are sleep. Less activity going on. The early morning is peaceful. Serene.
It refreshes the soul and gives life to the body. My mind is clear and ready to embark on my day.
     Keeping that peace throughout the day is my goal. As of late, with two teenagers to guide, I find myself losing patience which leads to frustration. I must remember to look beyond whatever the current challenge and set my sights on the bigger picture. Give love and grace.
Amen

Unlearn Learned History

The Destruction of Black Civilization - Great Issues of a Race from 4500 B.C. To 2000 A.D. By Chancellor Williams
This is the newest book on the reading list and follows the enlightened reading experience of The Mis-Education of the Negro by Carter G. Woodson.

     I'm only in the Preview portion of the book where Williams spells out his inquiry and methods into the research of African history, specific to the fall of Black people.  Immediately you get a sense of the author. The book reads very conversational and candid. Williams is thorough and methodically captures the details of a lost history. I'm hooked within the first few pages!
     I am sure this book will flesh out old theories and abolish certain lies taught in the Western world.
     The hunger for knowledge will be satisfied.

A Drop of Water

     Nature is the best place to quiet ones mind and get back to our true essence. The man made world is a harsh and crude place. Man surrounds himself with all kinds of activities that feed his flesh, leaving the mind and spirit to wither.
     Sometimes getting back to purity requires recognizing purity and staying in touch with things that are pure. My proximity to what taints my soul is too close. If one is not watchful and you surround your senses with the negativity man spews, he can creep in causing you to believe his lies.
     If I am an ink droplet and I fall into an ink well, I become even more saturated with ink. But if I am that same ink droplet that falls into a clear pond, I do not contaminate the pond but rather the pond in its vast pure-ness over powers me and diffuses my statin until you can not recognize me from the pure. I become purified.
     My spirit craves a return to its original pure creation.

Up All Night

     When the body and mind are not in sync it feels torturous. I know my body could use the rest but my mind will not shut off. My mind could use the rest but my body is fidgety. Random thoughts and images of conversations never to be had. Opinions never to be voiced. Should have, could have, would haves fill space time uselessly. All the activity of an inactive person. So why allow the mind to wander to such empty places?

     There seems to be no choice. Something I am plagued with since a little girl. Split personalities. I have multiple characters living in my head. They have been there long before I can remember when they emerged. But they are there. Undoubtedly there. They take over when "i" am not performing to their liking, filling my head with chatter to steer me of course, onto some superficial plane of nothingness.

     Then came a break through where they seemed to merge. A necessary person entered my life and showered me the path to myself. On this journey I became intimate with the artist within. My own voice was being heard not in an auditory way but silently and even stronger than the many. My artwork became personal and raw. I reached deep into the recesses of my past, lived in the moment and foresaw the future all on the same surface. Maybe they fell silent because they were in awe. The statements on canvas were so full there was no room for another voice. Or maybe they knew to just sit and wait....

     I mistakenly thought we all became one. I was right to be mislead. Since there were no longer multiple voices and personalities vying for center stage, I was fooled to believe they melded together with in me and WITH me. I only heard one voice now...my own. Finally united. One person. One voice. Freedom.

     However, the truth is I was fooled. There are two of us. Me and them! They silently watched as I arrogantly thought my thoughts were my own. Man's folly is his arrogance. I became confident that I was in control. I think, debate, analyze, think some more...analyze some more. I thought my way back to inactivity. That is their in! This carnal mind/body duel is a trap. I was never in control. I am a mere prisoner of this mind and body. My true freedom is outside of myself.

     I reason within myself....and herein lies the problem! Thinking too much about thinking. Action is needed! Art is needed!
I'm allowing space and time to be filled with useless chatter! They win when I am stagnant. Sensing my weakness they surface and engage in a hostile take over. They fill my mind with all my flaws, misgivings, failures and shortcomings allowing in the judgement of others. They are the masters of replaying negative tapes of lies.

     My art is the key. And when I say "art", I mean all avenues of expression. (Visual art, music, writing, poetry and the like) That is where true freedom lies.
When I am active in creation there is no sound. No voice. No chatter. No one.
The most powerful place to reside is where you lose yourself. Submission to the universe is where real oneness exists.

I am writing.

20-Artistic Expressions-Verbal Slap-Poets prproj

This episode of Artistic Expressions is HOT! The poets of Verbal Slap turn up the heat!! Michelle Thomas delivers a comfortable interview leaving you wanting more. Please watch. Remember to support the arts and your local artists!

15-Artistic Expressions-Tangsauce

Be inspired as Michelle Thomas interviews TangSauce & The Optimistics.  They bring an array of talent, skill and entertainment. This upcoming group offers a dynamic spark of energy with  effortless synergy. Enjoy this episode of Artistic Expressions! 

Remember to always support the Arts and you local artists!

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Michelle Thomas interviews Aariyan Googe on Artistic Expressions.
Watch as self taught photographer Aariyan Googe shares her secrets behind the camera! This light spirited deep soul gives her gift of capturing life. Enjoy looking at the world through her lens.
Remember to always support the Arts and your local artists.

11-Artistic Expressions-Chef Jay

Michelle Thomas interviews Chef Jay Lewis!!! A DELICIOUS episode!



Watch Artistic Expressions and learn about how Chef Jay's is a master in the culinary field and talks about his newly published cookbook: "The Gentlemen's Cookbook", where he cooks up not only tantalizing recipes but also manly advice on being a true gentleman.

10-Artistic Expressions-Kwanzaa Special

Jambo! Kwanzaa comes to Artistic Expressions! Enjoy musical performances by Brother Abu, Jedda, Sistah Nandi, Mixashawn, Maxine Martin, Richard McGhee, and Tim Mercik. Learn about the 7 principles of Kwanzaa led by the honorable elder Brother Abu. Ashe.

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JOE YOUNG is on Artistic Expressions! His movie Diamond Ruff is showing in theaters in January 2015. Watch the interview and always remember to 'Support the Arts and your local artists!'

"Permission to Kill Me" -New artwork by Michelle Thomas

"Permission to Kill Me"

-Michelle Thomas

Artpeace Studio

In the wake of the decision NOT to indite for both Michael Brown and Eric Garner, my spirit is unsettled and crying out.  The tension and dissatisfaction in the black community is like a festering abscess in need of lancing.  Current images on the news are more reminiscent of 1963....not 2014.  Riots, tear gas, protests, marches and public outrage are the crescendo of social unrest. 

You can't keep a broken system the same and expect different results. That's INSANITY!  The deep rooted issues of racism that manifest themselves in ways of unequal treatment and racial profiling can not go unchecked without the black community getting 'fed up' with the injustice. When there is no satisfactory justice, the feelings of abuse swell inside.  The pressure builds and if there is no relief, we have an explosion on our hands. 

THIS is what I'm feeling. Explosive! 

We all have our gifts. Thank goodness for people who have the gift of leadership and community activism as well as public speaking.  These are the people who lead, take action and make real change. 
One of my gifts is creating art. Art is a powerful tool to help reveal truth. It can be used to influence minds to contemplate deep issues in hopes to stir the soul to action. 
So yesterday I used my focused energy to respond to the plethora of emotions swirling inside of me concerning the social climate of today and created a painting entitled, "Permission to Kill Me".

The painting is a mixed media piece using acrylic paint, ink, newspaper, photocopy images, tape and charcoal.  The treatment of the surface is rough and raw like my emotions. I focused on the imagery of black males with their hands raised. This sends a different message depending on the context. 
In the painting there is a drawing of Eric Garner being choked with his last words before he died, "I can't breathe" on his chest. His raised hands signifies being subdued. 
Throughout the news there were many protesters and celebrities raising their hands as a symbol of peaceful protest. The center figure in the piece is a black man raising his hands during a peaceful demonstration. He has the words, "PEACEFUL PROTEST?" near him. The question mark is there because in the news where people were standing with their hands raised, tear gas was being thrown at them. 
Above his head is the preliminary autopsy report on Michael Brown that says, "Bullets entering the inside of Michael Brown's right arm and Brown's right palm suggest Brown had his arms in the 'surrender' position when Officer Darren Wilson killed him." So although he was in the surrender position, he was shot anyway. This is where the title of my piece comes from, "Permission to Kill Me", because apparently it doesn't matter if you 'surrender', you'll get killed anyway. So I included the silhouetted black male with his hands raised and the written question, "Surrender?" between his hands. Is this position of surrender a signal to the aggressor to 'stand down' or a green light to kill?

Art is a weapon! So I'm fighting back!

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made!

As I sit in the solitude and peace of my studio, hot tears stream down my cheeks as my heart explodes inside of me. When things change, and they inevitably do, submission to the universal forces of goodness and truth must prevail. Trying to cling to the past will only pass through your fingers like sand in an hourglass. I submit to the will of goodness even when it hurts.  Even when it rips through me like the massive claws of a tiger slicing through the abdomen of an antelope, leaving me completely vulnerable and exposed.

Submitting to the will of goodness does not mean I am infallible. On the contrary, I tend to put up an aggressive and futile fight against the truth I do not wish to face. My humanness shines through like a beacon. And I have the potential to invent ways to hold on to my reality when matched up against truth.  My humility and submission to goodness and truth allows healing, so its a wonder why I'd ever think to fight against it.  Its a paradox that seems foolish to fight...and it IS foolish to fight truth. My pride NEVER wins. Knowing that my human pride is an ill match for truth becomes my saving grace. I am able to submit.  Even when it takes every fiber of my being, losing my pride, and using my intellect to submit. I submit.

One thing is clear, I will side with good at ALL costs. It sometimes feels as though it kills me to do so. But the reality is, it is NOT killing me, it is making me stronger.  Even if I'd rather rebel against the thought of submission because of misguided selfish pride, it is wiser to choose truth. When I am brutally honest with myself, I know I'd rather throw a tantrum, kicking, screaming and throwing my body about before giving in to to obvious truth before me. Truth cuts like a two edged sword. A scripture I remind myself of to stay grounded in truth:

23 "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive. 24 Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 1Cor 10:23-24

Every man faces his true character alone. I alone am responsible for the good I do or don't do!  I no longer say I am lonely...I know better than that! Manifested creation lives inside me.  However, I FEEL---deeply and I sometimes think I am alone in how I deeply I feel about things.  I can't hide it. It shows in my walk, in my talk, in my furrowed brow, or distended forehead vein whenever I am stressed beyond my borders. I am wrestling angels right now!

There are specific times in my personal spiritual walk where I actually question, "Why was I made this way?" Should I live this life being so sensitive to humanities ills and hardships? Especially when I am surrounded by people who have the ability to suppress, hide, ignore or dismiss emotional appeals as easy as donning and doffing their clothing. So many times I feel like a fish out of water, suffocating as I gasp for sustenance. I MUST REMEMBER---

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

The focus must shift from self to others in order to be effective for goodness and truth.

There is so much loss in this world. All types of loss, from death of a loved one to the break up of a loving relationship. Any type of withdraw creates a ripple in the universe felt by the "sensitives" moving about this earth.  Even the deaf, dumb and blind one can feel the powerful energy of human suffering transcending all physical laws of time and space. We only need to tune into its frequency. Adjust our perspective to include the external pulsating energy of another human being, whether next to you or half way across the globe. Pain is a chosen condition of the mind. I am grateful for my painful experiences. They keep me relate-able to other people who hurt deeply.  We can respond to the sufferings of this world first with compassion. Compassion leads the heart to action.

08 Artistic Expressions Tee Tee Soul 112014

Enjoy episode 8 of Artistic Expressions where Michelle Thomas interviews Tee Tee Soul a talented local musician. Watch and listen as Tee Tee Soul shares a riveting musical selection.



Artistic Expressions is dedicated to bringing awareness to the vast talent throughout Hartford, CT and its neighboring towns. We are in the beginning stages of producing videos that highlight local artist. 

  

Come check out Artistic Expressions on Hartford Public Access Television,   Saturdays at 4:00 pm on Channel 5!

Remember to always support the Arts and your local artists!

00-Artistic Expressions promo (1min)-110914

Check out our latest promo for Artistic Expressions!

07-Artistic Expressions-Mixashawn-110414

Enjoy episode 7 of Artistic Expressions where Michelle Thomas interviews L. Mixashawn Rozie. He is a jazz musician known as the "Wave Artist" and educator. Mixashawn delights us with his musical prowess on the flute.



Artistic Expressions is dedicated to bringing awareness to the vast talent throughout Hartford, CT and its neighboring towns. We are in the beginning stages of producing videos that highlight local artist. If you know an artist who would be a great candidate for an interview on Artistic Expressions please contact us at 860-655-6685. Leave a message for Michelle Thomas. Thank you



Please subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can receive the latest episodes of Artistic Expressions

Egypt Diarra-Kai

I love you baby girl....
On the anniversary of the passing of my daughter, I'm posting a poem I wrote 16 years ago soon after my baby girl breathed her last. Those were the best 5 weeks a mother could know!

EGYPT

Ahhhhhhh... Angels awaken me,

     or was it

     the sudden chill?

Wait---Was that a sigh?

Dear God, let it be a sigh.

My heart skips a beat

but does not

stop.

The blood rushing 

through my veins

feels

hot.

You see...

The timeless truth about tranquil turmoil

is that

going back 

is not an option.

Her limp limbs in one hand

chest compressions with the other,

     one one thousand

     two one thousand

     three on thousand

breathe.

     one one thousand

     two one thousand

     three one thousand

breathe.

nothing.

An eternity happened in that moment

An eternity---happened---in that moment

Existence ceases to exist.

My life swirls about me

colliding with past worlds

     with repeated rights

     and record wrongs.

Was this punishment?

The universe unraveling 

at it seams...

like a dream.

As Motherhood conspires with Death

she withdraws her embrace

leaving me

barren

once more.

I offer a sacrifice

     my own breath

     my own life.

Was I too late? or 

on time.

Time with his cold insistent hand

was on me.

He pinned me

threw a blanket of despair

about me---

     then laughed.

I could not see

the next moment

suffocating me.

It was not my time.
It was hers.

Art Opening "Reflections" @ Studio Montclair, New Jersey

Studio Montclair Presents Portfolio Series: Reflections
at Montclair Public Library November 2 – 28

Media Contact: Yvette Lucas  | ylucasw@verizon.net  | 973-809-8261

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

MONTCLAIR, NJ: On Thursday, November 6, 2014, from 6:30 to 8:30pm, Studio Montclair Inc. (SMI) will host the artists’ opening reception for its exhibition Portfolio Series: Reflections, on display at the Montclair Public Library from November 2 through November 28. This exhibition showcases the work of five artists whose work depicts the theme “reflection.” Each artist explores the theme in a highly personal and subjective way, with no two artists using the same medium. Collage, photography, fiber arts, animation and drawing are all employed to their fullest in the hands of these five very talented women. Most of the artists will be in attendance at the reception, which is free and open to the public. All of the artists are SMI members.

The five artists in the show are Rachel Kanter and Paula Stark of Montclair; Roshanak Elmendorf of Ringwood; Linda Jacobs of Maplewood; and Michelle R. Thomas of Hartford, CT.

“Some of the works are about light and its many forms of reflection,” says Curator Lisa Sanders, “while others depict the theme in its meditative sense, as in carefully considering and reflecting upon experiences, cultures and personal relationships.”

SMI Gallery Director Amy Becker explains, “Every November, the library is the site of an SMI Portfolio Series exhibition that provides an opportunity for SMI members to showcase a body of work.”

About the artists
The works by fiber artist Rachel Kanter portray the theme “reflection” as the revisiting of Jewish ritual objects through the lenses of tradition, domestic roles and modern ideas. Kanter uses embroidery, aprons, kitchen towels, and other household objects as the substrate for her artistic and personal reflection.

Paula Stark’s landscape-inspired paper collages capture the subtle variations of reflected light, color, texture and space found in nature. Her work draws upon observation and contemplation, which bring an especially fresh point of reference to the landscape genre.

Iranian-born Roshanak Elmendorf uses moving images—animated drawings, photographs and film—to represent her inner reflections of memory and culture. Her work intertwines memory and poetry to create a unique personal and cultural narrative.

In the work of multi-media artist Michelle R. Thomas, the theme of reflection harkens to the phrase, “pause and reflect.” Thomas is a retired airmen of the U.S. Air Force/Connecticut Air National Guard, and her works for this exhibition reflect the many facets of her experience in the military and the people with whom she served.

Photographer Linda Jacobs’ photogram images capture the reflective qualities of light. Her careful selection of objects used in the images reveals a fascinating interplay of memory, free association and abstraction that compel the viewer to respond to the work at a very personal level.

About the Curator
Lisa Sanders received her MFA from the New York Studio School in 2011. Her work has been exhibited twice at the John Davis Gallery, Hudson, NY; outdoors in Art in Nature at Greenwood Gardens in Short Hills, NJ; at Gallery 202, DUMBO, NY; Reverol & Co., New Rochelle, NY; Governors Island Art Fair, New York, NY; the Box Gallery, Galesburg, IL; and the Arts Guild of New Jersey, Rahway. She has received awards from the New Jersey State Council on the Arts (2014 Artists Fellowship), the New York Studio School (sculptor in residence), and the Vermont Studio Center (fellowship residency). Lisa lives and works in Newark, NJ. Lisa is on the SMI board and serves as Exhibitions Coordinator.

About the Gallery Director

Amy Becker is the SMI Gallery Director for exhibitions at the Montclair Public Library. Ms. Becker is also a Studio Montclair board member and serves as a Communications Coordinator. Additionally, she serves on the board of the Madison Arts and Culture Alliance. Ms. Becker is an award-winning fine art photographer. Her work has appeared nationally, and regionally in such institutions as the Morris Museum, Noyes Museum, Hunterdon Art Museum, George Segal Gallery, Aljira, and in New York galleries Soho Photo, Pen and Brush Club, and Ceres Gallery.

Montclair Public Library is located at 50 S. Fullerton Avenue, Montclair, NJ. Gallery hours are Monday – Thursday 10am – 8pm; Friday–Saturday 10am – 6pm; Sunday 1-6pm.
http://www.montclairlibrary.org

Studio Montclair Inc. (SMI) is a nonprofit organization of exhibiting professional artists and others interested in the visual arts. Its mission is to promote culture and education in the visual arts and encourage emerging artists.
http://www.studiomontclair.org

This program is made possible in part by funds from the New Jersey State Council on the Arts/Department of State, a Partner Agency of the National Endowment for the Arts. These funds are administered by the Essex County Division of Cultural and Historic Affairs.

I Appreciate You

For What? I'm glad you asked...

For stimulating and provoking minds,
For being passionate about the process of creation, 
     and have that excitement spill over.
For being passionate about the plight of our people
     and have a mission to act.
For being passionate about kindness and equality
     and have it take the form of grace.

My personal gratitude bubbles over 
because of statements you made 
     to half prying ears - at the bar.

You gave me nuggets of knowledge 
     to chew on.
I've been digesting the concept of the lesser mystery
     and the greater one ever since.
What is our legacy?
Why are we here?

Discussing vulnerability,
     gracefully opened a door
     I've been trying to pry open.

Figuring out the inner workings of a person
     is always the goal.
Leaving behind the superficial. 
Its invigorating tangling with a soul 
     who can show their true self FIRST.

This is an artistic and human gesture,
     to say I appreciate you.
     
     I believe in you.

Artistic Expressions episode 6 - Kemet Maroon

Watch our latest episode of Artistic Expressions. Michelle Thomas interviews the EXPLOSIVE Kemet Maroon (poet, musician, Arts & Crafts jeweler and community activist)

Please hit the subscribe button so you can receive the latest episodes as they come out. Thank you and REMEMBER TO ALWAYS SUPPORT THE ARTS AND YOUR LOCAL ARTISTS! peace

Come check out Artistic Expressions on Hartford Public Access Television, channel 5 on Saturdays at 4:00 pm!

A Tree or Me?

A poem I wrote this morning....

A Tree or Me?

Patient.

Grounded.

Rooted...in the rich life giving soil.

Nurtured by Mother Earth,

          her sediment offers wisdom

          -food for the soul.

I stand tall.

Bold.

Unmoved by time

          or circumstance.

I only grow.

Although I am strong,

I stand alone.

Can anyone see me?  

          Or do passers-by just take me for granted?

          -cuz I'll always be here.

Patient.

Grounded.

Rooted...in harmony with Nature.

Enough.

When will my beloved stroll by

          and see my illuminating headdress?

This is my time to shine.

Autumn air is the signal.

          Energy trapped

          -swells with anticipation.

My leaves wait to burst 

with a brilliant array of colors,
          yellows

          oranges

          reds

waiting to fall

dead.

My adornment will soon 

shed her crown of glory 

          yielding to the creeping cold hand of winter.

Each vibrant leaf floats down

          a tiny sacrifice to the gods.

Pleading.

A desperate attempt

to be noticed.

If no one stops to look

          is it just as spectacular?

My answer lies in waiting.

I remain

Patient.

Grounded.

Rooted...until the next season.

Caged Tiger

Another poem from an old journal (2006), that surprisingly applies to today!

Caged Tiger

Ever wonder why

a caged tiger

paces back and forth?

So much to do

So much time

So little space

Looking Back to Celebrate the Now!

Here is a journal entry of mine from May 2001.

"I have moments of strength and moments of weakness.

• When I am down my body shakes and I can't stop moving. Its as if I am a caged animal under attack. Sometimes I feel helpless and invisible. 

• My most pressing concern is feeling like a failure in multiple areas of my life.  It started with the inability to have children. Everything stems from that. 

• I also feel I'm unable to complete anything. That is a major exaggeration but crippling no less.  That's why finishing school and staying in the military until I retire is so important to me.

•  All of the qualities and character traits of the woman I want to be are right in front of me. I seem to never be able to reach her. Yet I know she exists. I only see the failure of not being her, instead of rejoicing in the challenge of becoming her.

I want to be ok with where I am. I put a lot of pressure on myself. "

Perspective is everything. I sit here remembering the heavy heart and frustrations I bore. I am thankful that perseverance really does reap a reward. 
Changing to an outward focus allowed peace to enter my soul. My tendency to worry was replaced with a calm resolve towards what "is".  The truth set me free.

Today I can acknowledge the blessings showered upon me.
My "most pressing concern" of infertility was wiped away by the success of UCONN's fertility program. The 5 year struggle ended on March, 22, 2002 with the birth of our "wonder twins" Madi & Wave!  The joy of my life. I can't imagine a time without them. Their birth instantly dissolved a lifetime of wanting and hurt. Their life continues to teach me humility and grace. I am grateful.

Feeling that I was unable to finish anything, stemmed from a scattered and unsettled mind. I lost my focus and patience. I allowed my mind to roam about with no direction or purpose. This produced a hopeless feeling inside me. A lie.
However, staying on course regardless of negative thinking, and not giving up proved to provide victory. I earned my Bachelors Degree in Art 5 years later. The accomplishment of that moment gave purpose and carried the honor of being the first immediate family member to have graduated college since 1929. That is both sad and hopeful.

I can honestly say, retiring from the military after 21 years of faithful service was exhilarating! I took on that challenge, one day at a time. There were MANY times along that road I thought to just get out, however, being of my word and finishing what I started became a model for my life. It also has left an unexpectedly positive impression on my children. They carry with them a tangible sense of pride that their mother stayed the course, served in the United States military and helped people.

My most precious gift was reaching and getting to know the woman within; the woman I was to become! Countless hours have been spent evaluating and re-evaluating my character. Refinement is a daily undertaking. The challenge is refreshing and restores my soul. I am constantly on a quest to improve as a human being. Remaining open to the positive forces of the universe allow for such internal change. My desire was and continues to be to grow in all the virtues - love, faith, patience, joy, peace, kindness, grace, integrity, truth, honesty, wisdom, excellence, generosity, service, goodness, humility and the like.
Although, I have grown exponentially since my 2001 journal entry, I am light years away from my enlighten true self. This is a journey that will carry me through to my grave.

I am ok with where I am. No pressure.

Artistic Expressions-Darryl Oates-100214

Enjoy episode five of Artistic Expressions! 
Michelle Thomas interviews Hartford visual artist Darryl Oates.

Artistic Expressions is dedicated to bringing awareness to the vast talent throughout Hartford, CT and its neighboring towns. We are in the beginning stages of producing videos that highlight local artists. If you know an artist who would be a great candidate for an interview on Artistic Expressions please contact us at 860-655-6685 leave a message for Michelle Thomas.
Help us give back to the arts community.

 

Come check out Artistic Expressions on Hartford Public Access Television 

Channel 5 on Saturdays at 4:00 pm!

Remember to always support the Arts and your local artists!
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can receive the latest episodes of Artistic Expressions.  

Artistic Expressions on Hartford Public Access Television - Michelle Thomas

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Come check out Artistic Expressions on Hartford Public Access Television, channel 5 on Saturdays at 4:00 pm!
Remember to always support the Arts and your local artists!
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can receive the latest episodes of Artistic Expressions. Peace

Why Can't You See Me?

Why Can’t You See Me?

 Sight.

Taken for granted

Taken advantage

Is lost.

Does the brightness of my soul blind you?

Or

Has the predatory nature of pride preyed upon you,

Stalked you out, advanced and devoured your sensibility?

You blindly use words of control and manipulation,

Fumbling in the dark.

Take a journey with me.

There exists a universe,

Where the bright nature of purity drips from lotus pedals.

As I slide down the optic nerve

Into my mind’s eye,

A vision enraptures me.

Clarity is crystal clear.

Sweet surrender is a comfort in the morning,

Wrapping her loving arms around you.

Close your eyes and give in to her.

Love restores sight.