Monday, October 27, 2014

Egypt Diarra-Kai

I love you baby girl....
On the anniversary of the passing of my daughter, I'm posting a poem I wrote 16 years ago soon after my baby girl breathed her last. Those were the best 5 weeks a mother could know!


Ahhhhhhh... Angels awaken me,
     or was it
     the sudden chill?

Wait---Was that a sigh?
Dear God, let it be a sigh.
My heart skips a beat
but does not

The blood rushing 
through my veins

You see...
The timeless truth about tranquil turmoil
is that
going back 
is not an option.

Her limp limbs in one hand
chest compressions with the other,
     one one thousand
     two one thousand
     three on thousand
     one one thousand
     two one thousand
     three one thousand

An eternity happened in that moment
An eternity---happened---in that moment

Existence ceases to exist.
My life swirls about me
colliding with past worlds
     with repeated rights
     and record wrongs.
Was this punishment?

The universe unraveling 
at it seams...
like a dream.

As Motherhood conspires with Death
she withdraws her embrace
leaving me
once more.

I offer a sacrifice
     my own breath
     my own life.
Was I too late? or 
on time.
Time with his cold insistent hand
was on me.
He pinned me
threw a blanket of despair
about me---
     then laughed.

I could not see
the next moment
suffocating me.

It was not my time.
It was hers.


  1. Oh God Michelle..this ripped my heart out...such feeling and heart is with you

  2. Something I never knew happened! I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is something I can't imagine yet I know the pain is something that I wish no parent ever had to endure. Your recount of your emotions in this poem is so poignant and telling. Love you!

  3. I never knew either. Wow, thank you for sharing this part of you. I am sorry for your loss. My best to you and Stacy.