I love you baby girl....
On the anniversary of the passing of my daughter, I'm posting a poem I wrote 16 years ago soon after my baby girl breathed her last. Those were the best 5 weeks a mother could know!
EGYPT
Ahhhhhhh... Angels awaken me,
or was it
the sudden chill?
Wait---Was that a sigh?
Dear God, let it be a sigh.
My heart skips a beat
but does not
stop.
The blood rushing
through my veins
feels
hot.
You see...
The timeless truth about tranquil turmoil
is that
going back
is not an option.
Her limp limbs in one hand
chest compressions with the other,
one one thousand
two one thousand
three on thousand
breathe.
one one thousand
two one thousand
three one thousand
breathe.
nothing.
An eternity happened in that moment
An eternity---happened---in that moment
Existence ceases to exist.
My life swirls about me
colliding with past worlds
with repeated rights
and record wrongs.
Was this punishment?
The universe unraveling
at it seams...
like a dream.
As Motherhood conspires with Death
she withdraws her embrace
leaving me
barren
once more.
I offer a sacrifice
my own breath
my own life.
Was I too late? or
on time.
Time with his cold insistent hand
was on me.
He pinned me
threw a blanket of despair
about me---
then laughed.
I could not see
the next moment
suffocating me.
It was not my time.
It was hers.
It was hers.
Oh God Michelle..this ripped my heart out...such feeling and emotion...my heart is with you
ReplyDeleteSomething I never knew happened! I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is something I can't imagine yet I know the pain is something that I wish no parent ever had to endure. Your recount of your emotions in this poem is so poignant and telling. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI never knew either. Wow, thank you for sharing this part of you. I am sorry for your loss. My best to you and Stacy.
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