Saturday, January 8, 2011

Daily Diary

It has been a week.....let's see if I can recap. Memory is NOT my best trait!
The best word to describe my mental status is STEADY. New Years was spent with my children all day with no interaction with the outside world. They jumped right in with signing with me and they were able to figure out anything I needed to tell them. That felt good. Sunday I went to church by myself...Stacy stayed home with the kids; they had colds. Church was good. I was able to have several conversations without writing anything down. As usual I sat in the Deaf Ministry section to see the signing. I was comfortable and confident.
Monday I went to see my mom....She had a notepad for me to write on. Vi sting with her was the BEST. She encourages me. I was most taken by her gesture of support by buying a new phone with a text keyboard. Texting is something she said she would never do. So for her to buy a phone just so she can text to me during this year touches my heart!!! I love my mom!! She's cool. smile
Tuesday I had my back therapy. That was fun. They were anticipating me and tried to get me to talk. They were excited for me on this unusual journey. Wednesday I went to visit with my mommy. We sat and watched movies. She fed me ALOT of food!
Thursday was a typical day. I got up at 3am (like most mornings) to work in the studio until 7am. After bringing the kids to school I went to the gym. Some folks at the gym think I am deaf and mouth words instead of talking to me. Oh yeah...another observation. People want to touch me when they talk to me or talk real close. I just go with it. Communication is happening.
I've been making the 9:15 spin class. Intense! Now is the tricky part...everyday has been different after the gym. Its like I don't know what to do with myself. I can do ANYTHING, but I lack the focus to make it happen. I do lunch and then it is any ones guess. I think I will use that as more time in the studio once I have a major project up and running. Right now I just feel LOST mid day! I'm sure I'll work it out.
One of my biggest frustrations so far is trying to communicate with Stacy. He doesn't know sign and barely remembers the signing alphabet. So most of the time I have to write things down and that can be tiring. He is very good at picking up gestures though. We just have to come up with some sort of compromise.
In a conversation with my best friend, he made an excellent point to get my focus back. He said, "This year is about producing art and NOT about not talking. Not talking is the easy part. It would be a tragedy if you spent the year not talking and had NO art to show for it! That would be the disappointment, NOT you slipping up with a word here or there." With a pep talk from Marz I was ready for what was next.
Friday probably was the most stimulating of days. I did the usual 3am studio visit. This time however, I set up six stations for six different art projects. Two oil paintings (one large, one small), watercolor butterfly piece, pen & ink piece, sketching station and a drawing station to work out ideas for future paintings. It was invigorating! I video recorded my work and sketched a self-portrait. Stacy brought the kids to school so I went right to the gym.
The kids had a half day so I picked them up.....that's when things got exciting. I wanted to see the classroom I will be teaching in next week. So I went in to get Madi and Wave. I had to interact with parents, teachers and children. All using sign, gesture and writing stuff down. Everyone was so receptive.
When asked, "Why is your mother talking in sign language?" The twins were proud to say, "It's her year of silence". Just that simple. Madi was having Steph over for a play date so I invite two other classmates for Wave to play with at our house. So with five active kids at my house we had and extreme play date until 5pm!!! The kids had a blast! I ordered their favorite - PIZZA! Fun was had by all.... the evening came to a tranquil end. The twins watched movies until bedtime.
...and here I am doing my early morning studio thang. It is peaceful up here. Outside is beautiful. A snow storm hit and everything is white.
Peace happens.


  1. I am soooo loving this right now!! How wonderful....u are that person I have always wanted to be And thought I was! When Danie refers to me as her "bohemian" Aunt I get all giddy like a kid but my heart gets filled up, and I say "whew! Someone out there does get it" but for so many years even though I have always been "ME" I still have held back or maintained my reserve and right now I'm so sad and hurt by doing so. Wow so many good years waisted... When I turned 50 I stepped outside of myself and became myself at the same time re-inventing myself. It just started to happen with no help from myself!! (If thats at all possible)?!! wow how liberating. So even though I never became that interpretive dancer that I've always wanted to be or that psycholgist or that spoken word/poetry writer and never got the chance to live in that loft apartment in soho or greenwich village, I still have one thing and that is some kind of inner peace (GOD) knowing that I COULD and WOULD have been the best at all those things! God willing I will be 55 on the 16th of January (and I'm treating myself to a ticket to go see PRINCE) ahh! Life is good) But what the hell now I have you in my life neicey I can live thru your eyes!!! LOL... Can't wait for the next Daily Diary..I love you sooo much. Until then my beloved.. Peace, Auntie :-)<3

  2. I really enjoy reading your posts.

  3. Wow! We don't realize how many people we interact with during the course of a day, all requiring communication. Interesting how people have been leaning closer or touching you physically while talking. It's instinctual for people to feel they are getting their voice (opinion) heard by the other party. You probably need your spokesmen (Madi and Wave) with you all the time to explain to people why their Mom doesn't talk or maybe a sign around your neck with a label and/or explanation (LOL) (People can be so ignorant and not understanding) Your friend is right, so get working! I expect a body of work that rivals Prince's music catalogue (from last weak!) Stay encouraged, I love you.
    Your Brotha,