T x Pp + A = Creation (I can handle simple math)

In coming out of my coma for the last month, I began to think about the process of thought and how it relates to the manifestation of the physical world. What is thought? This invisible sensation....Is it part of or separate from the physical body? A chemical reaction perhaps? The mind-body dichotomy is perplexing.

Everything we create starts with the idea (content of cognition) that becomes the thought (forms conceived in the mind).....from there the magic happens! With forks to eat our food, chairs to sit in, toys to play with, cars to drive, our laptops and computers, to the many buildings that make up our cities....we create a lot of stuff. This physical world is our "proof" of thought. Our hands create what we think. The thoughts we have excite our neurons which fire across synapses and the messages travel from the brain to stimulate the nerve cells that contract our muscles and we move....our hands hold the tools that craft the things we conceive in our minds. God's creation is truly remarkable!

Theoretically "we" manifest good and evil concepts into tangible "products". Its choice. We choose to focus our attention, exercise our minds or power of reason in order to make inferences, decisions, or arrive at solutions or judgements. I have the ability to translate any state of mind into palpable works; through human perceptual experiences, dependant on stimuli from the external world, I can turn thought into positive or negative objects that can be touched or felt.

The same way I receive external stimuli to affect my decision making; I can create works that do the same for others. Creating artwork infused with feelings to evoke emotional sensations that stimulate the mind to action. The power to change the world lies within me - awaiting the ideas to form that cause the thoughts that excite the nerves that move the body that creates the artwork to stimulate someone else's mind into action.

So if I take my THOUGHTS (T) and multiply that by the PHYSICAL POTENTIAL (Pp) adding in my talent for ART (A) I get CREATION..... T x Pp + A = CREATION! (who says artists are bad at math? smile)

When you can't get stained glass......use spray paint!

We are created the way we are. I was born an African American of fair skin. Light skinneded they call it. High Yella. Redbone. Mulatto. Mutt. Stuck-up! All sorts of colorful labels. From the time I entered school to this day I feel the effects of peoples judgements - for and against me just because of my skin color. We haven't even considered my socioeconomic status or my level of education. What I have or don't have. Or what about my choice in dress and appearance? That's an accurate body of information to thrust labels and judgements upon, right? All that nonsense is but mere distraction, a road block of sorts.
No matter what our substance or appearance is, we are all viable. We use what we got to make it happen. Whatever that "it" is. Notice the church with spray painted windows because stained glass is expensive and hard to come by, "not having" doesn't stop them. Isn't the point of the church, to meet together and worship? Who cares what the windows look like? And if you're hung up on what the church looks like...you missed the point.

I listened attentively to a very wise person this weekend. The words cut but I need to hear them. I don't want to miss the point. We talked concerning my art studio. I have been spending alot of time obsessing and worrying about all the fine details in finishing its construction. Like--- the baseboard molding, a few more outlets, a fire detector, and finishing touches on cosmetics...blah blah blah. I am the closest I have ever been to having a pristine space solely for the creation of art. The advice was for me not to loose sight of my goal. (to create) Stop and realize what I ALREADY have. So what every little detail is not in place! What already exist is phenomenal. I was warned against loosing my hunger. There are people with far less and it does not stop them from staying focused on what moves them. No label or status is going to stop them from actively dreaming and doing. The substance is already inside me. I don't need pretty walls to create. The fact that I have pretty walls is simply a blessing. I could be in four walls and a toilet and the desire to create would not diminish. So what I don't have stained glass! Get a can of spray paint! Create! Stop waiting!

Give me another hit daddy....

We all have our drug....our vice, that thing that consumes and moves us. You know, that thing we CRAVE! Whether its a mind altering substance or our ability to alter the mind, we need it. Seemingly at least for the moment. We just "can't" live without it. It's borderline obsession... or a compulsion... or an obsessive compulsion! In any event, we desire to satisfy our oral fixations, fidgety behavior, sweats, hungers, itches, pains, laughter, compulsions of every kind. Good or bad we all have our drug. We all have our price too!

And for the price of about 50 cents over a pack of cigarettes, I gain access into a figure drawing class.

It begins on the drive over. Unquenchable anticipation as if I have a rendezvous with a secret lover. The excitement builds. I can't wait to set up my supplies...my paraphernalia if you will. The clean sheet of paper before me calls me. It knows my name. It knows what I want. Carefully I select my tool of choice. I feel everything. The light in the room. The heat and energy around me. The sounds of noiseless chatter. My body vibrates with excitement. Is that a drop of sweat? I begin to feel lightheaded. It is as though my feet have left the ground and I am floating...invisible. The model is poised. Before I even begin I study the lines and shapes before me. I notice how beautifully the shadows fall in place. The curves and forms draw me in. The first stroke is most satisfying to my addiction, but I need MORE! Three hours of bliss. My hand glides across page after glorious page of nothing more than compressed charcoal making marks on ground up and pulverized dried trees. Yet for me it is the place where space and time stand still. The eternity. The possibility. The miracle.

Now I have to wait a whole week for my next fix. I'll be itching and scratching until the next time. Maybe I'll need four hours....

Puppeteering

I've been thinking a lot about freedom lately. All types of freedom. Freedom of spirit. Freedom of mind. Freedom of speech. Freedom to move. We crave freedom. We even wish we had wings to be free to fly. Then it dawned on me. How do we know anything about freedom when "we" as the human race try so desperately to control everything? We try to control time with clocks, control space with mortgages, control water with bottles, control nature with zoos, control people with marriage. We've become masters at controlling things... or trying to control things. All types of manipulation have become our best friend. When someone is moving too freely we use sarcasm and guilt to try and control their movement.

What are we afraid of?

It Is Finished....

This time of year has always been a time of reflection for me. It has almost been three years since the passing of my father. I love and miss him dearly. Remembering him is sweet.... I had a good long cry and now it is time to move forward and grow. With the kids at "grannybear's" and Stacy working, I spent the day dismantling my father's room. I lovingly save few items that are sentimental and then let go of the rest. The room will be the new room of my dad's namesake, Waveris my son. (who by the way is very excited to get the room!)

I LOVE YOU DADDY....YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME.