Sunday, April 24, 2011

Is that a Pube hair coming in?

My own silence is loud. I am currently sifting through the noise.
The spring time generally brings about the energy of change and impatience for me. It is actually my most dreaded of the seasons. How can that be?.... EVERYONE loves spring, right? The newness, the freshness, the feeling of hope and promise. NOT!

To me spring is like puberty. Its all awkward. The flowers are trying to burst through the hard soil; the grass hasn't quite figured out what its doing. Its wet and muddy....even cold still. When the trees finally begin to bud their colors are muted and unsure. All around the colors of spring are pale at best. It feels like a lot going on at once. We are constantly on the edge of our seats waiting for something to happen. GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!

In my own mind the same thing is going on during the spring. Plans that have been dormant during the winter are trying to burst through. There are many "to do list" to keep track of..... internally and externally. I want to rearrange the rooms in my house, paint the walls, and reorganize closet spaces. There's the garage that needs emptying as well as the basement. The kids have out grown their school clothes from the Fall and Winter, so shopping for clothes is in order. Friends and family are coming out of their hibernation and want to start planning get-to-gathers.

Then there is the internal space in my mind.... prioritizing the many art projects that are ongoing. What and when to create is a constant battle. The balancing act of taking care of my children, keeping my house in order, preparing my art lessons to teach, adapting to my husband's schedule and fitting in family time and creative time all swirl about in my head.

In Autumn I am my strongest; contemplative and introspective; guided and determined. The commander of my ship! Spring.... forget it. I'm all over the place. My spirit feels it too.

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