Sunday, June 12, 2011

A much needed hiatus....

This morning, I took advantage of a quiet house. While the twins were sleeping and with Stacy at work, I drew myself a steaming hot bubble bath to sooth my stiff back and hard head.

The night was long and lonely. I spent a good portion of the night tossing and turning. Eventually I had to get out of bed and walk to relieve my tortured soul and pain ridden body. In the middle of the night this ole house makes lots of quiet noise. It was comforting to hear the rain hit the street.

I can be a very sensitive soul sometimes.... whatever the catalyst for my thoughts, I began to consider the condition of the world. Heavy stuff for a suffering insomniac for a night. My heart was pulled in the direction towards the plight of man. People have good intention, but the problem is, intention doesn't get the job done; Action does. Then relationship wise it seems so few are actually happy. More than half of my friends (whose wedding I remember) have gone through a divorce or the threat of a break-up looms over their head. There are many in relationships where instead of working together, harsh words take the place of true understanding.

I ended up crying. The kind of cry that comes from your soul. I cried for everyone! Myself included. I cried for any ill thought or deed. I cried for any action that pulls us away from peace. Hot tears streamed down my cheek for anyone whose heart has ever been broken. I cried for humanity.

I cried myself into a peaceful silence. Then I went back to bed.
In the morning I awoke to a fresh perspective. Action took the place of sorrow. Taking care of our mind, body and spirit is a must in order for us to stay healthy and take care of each other.
Back to my hot bubble bath... I spent two hours soaking in bubbles scented with vanilla and a hint of citrus. Burning my Nag Champa is a must and of course I had a recording of the ocean playing in the background. This was all a backdrop to the real activity. I'm currently reading one of the most stimulating books I've opened in a long time. Its title is perfect, "The Art Spirit" by Robert Henri (1865-1929).
Inside these pages are the most inspiring words for any artist. Some books just seem to reach inside our hearts and kiss it. That's what its like as my eyes take in every word. Robert Henri pours out for the thirsty artist philosophies in art that quench the soul. His words are timeless and pure. In all my silence and lack of artist peers this book feels like a friendly conversation. I need to be reminded what my mission is from time to time. I am an artist.
No sense feeling bad about lost intentions.....its a new day and action is required.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi


  1. Thank you for allowing God to use you as a vessel..its not an easy "yes"..

    Love you sis,

  2. " Be the change you want to see in the World" This is the statement that Kennelly School claimed as a mission statement last year and I recognized it and embraced it. Well awaking at 3am to read my email I placed yours aside to read in this moment. I knew it would be something I would want to take my time to read, digest and take time to respond on how it would inspire me to express. What i have been moved to do with God's Blessing is to be that change I want to see, Yes!!!! for in this moment I feel so open and yet I know those tears of pain. I am constantly reminded through out the day by opinions about this old world and how horrible it is but "What are you doing about it!!!!" I think and most of the time say. Then I think what am I doing about it too. This year I have claimed as a "Year of Action" being involved in Being that Change! What blows my mind is how I witnessed, OMG, many people up before the crack of dawn to vote in the 2009 elections. We were all excited about our vote; and for the first time, I felt apart of something good. I witnessed my vote rise victorious but what have I done to support that vote, I was so proud to make. How have I supported it? Well this year, I took the initiative to take my stand and walk into that office to volunteer for what I say I believe in. Do my part! I want to know more about what is hurting and crushing my reality and help to change it through my art. I am in the refinement stage of my life and I am not going to waste it on "what if's and would of, could of and should have while I lay with my thoughts to entertain me. So inspired by you and your "Year of Silence" I feel blessed to have you as a sister and a friend in my life, such a rare and beautiful soul to be reckon with lol. I know and realize this moment has happen before we as a people have had this struggle before but it always brought us closer together. Made us realize how we need to help each other to make it but we are fighting that. My fondest memories are the ones when my mother and father would have people over our house to eat, talk, laugh, REASON but most importantly to share what we had with one another. This generation has lost sight of that. I remember being at the feet of my elders who would reach down to call my attention and hand me their pearls of wisdom in a loving gesture that my grandchildren do not know but they will. I am going to create that from our disparity with my family that surpasses blood linage because family and true friends have an invisible line that does not define a difference but embraces our love and appreciation for each other and recognizes how we must be for one another. There lies the ability to bring about the "CHANGE" we need to see! As artist we can be serve as a beautiful example of that dance we do visually through visions expressed on a medium, rhythmically through movement, melodically through music/song, lyrically through prose in the written and spoken word, We need to come together, connect and create some of our finest works of collaboration while moving past our fears of opinionated judgement. I say let's just be open: take down your fence and let's us reason with the spirit that we are going to create something needed, beautiful and so inspiring that we too are moved, changed, metamorphosed from that what we know into what we know into what we should aspire to be.

    just thinking