This morning, I took advantage of a quiet house. While the twins were sleeping and with Stacy at work, I drew myself a steaming hot bubble bath to sooth my stiff back and hard head.
The night was long and lonely. I spent a good portion of the night tossing and turning. Eventually I had to get out of bed and walk to relieve my tortured soul and pain ridden body. In the middle of the night this ole house makes lots of quiet noise. It was comforting to hear the rain hit the street.
I can be a very sensitive soul sometimes.... whatever the catalyst for my thoughts, I began to consider the condition of the world. Heavy stuff for a suffering insomniac for a night. My heart was pulled in the direction towards the plight of man. People have good intention, but the problem is, intention doesn't get the job done; Action does. Then relationship wise it seems so few are actually happy. More than half of my friends (whose wedding I remember) have gone through a divorce or the threat of a break-up looms over their head. There are many in relationships where instead of working together, harsh words take the place of true understanding.
I ended up crying. The kind of cry that comes from your soul. I cried for everyone! Myself included. I cried for any ill thought or deed. I cried for any action that pulls us away from peace. Hot tears streamed down my cheek for anyone whose heart has ever been broken. I cried for humanity.
I cried myself into a peaceful silence. Then I went back to bed.
In the morning I awoke to a fresh perspective. Action took the place of sorrow. Taking care of our mind, body and spirit is a must in order for us to stay healthy and take care of each other.
Back to my hot bubble bath... I spent two hours soaking in bubbles scented with vanilla and a hint of citrus. Burning my Nag Champa is a must and of course I had a recording of the ocean playing in the background. This was all a backdrop to the real activity. I'm currently reading one of the most stimulating books I've opened in a long time. Its title is perfect, "The Art Spirit" by Robert Henri (1865-1929).
Inside these pages are the most inspiring words for any artist. Some books just seem to reach inside our hearts and kiss it. That's what its like as my eyes take in every word. Robert Henri pours out for the thirsty artist philosophies in art that quench the soul. His words are timeless and pure. In all my silence and lack of artist peers this book feels like a friendly conversation. I need to be reminded what my mission is from time to time. I am an artist.
No sense feeling bad about lost intentions.....its a new day and action is required.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi