Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Blindsided once again....
We all have our stone to carry. Some carry smooth light stones, others heavy jagged ones, and still others may have granite, coral, marble or even coal! Then there are those who have diamonds... Our lot in life is uniquely "ours". I alone am responsible for my attitude and how I choose to encounter life. Typically I go through my day with this realization showing itself in some form or fashion. On the positive side I am a rock able to celebrate my individuality and the freedom of forging my own path. On the opposite end of the spectrum I may encounter criticism for the way I look, dress, think, interact with people or raise my children. Whether positive or negative my approach and response to life's many twists and turns is usually seasoned with ginger. My optimistic outlook is due partly because at a very young age I wholeheartedly believed in myself and accepted my choices, and partly because I am partly insane.
The opinions that really affect me are from my closest relationships. I was never one to acquire the attitude of caring what the populous thought. I am comfortable in my skin. Then there are days like today.... Incapacitated as if in quick sand. One small comment from someone I love dearly has burrowed its way into my self esteem and has taken a gut shot at my pride. Sometimes intellect and logic don't have a defense against the monster of emotion. Somewhere in my brain I know I am not supposed to be emotionally crushed so easily. However, my love and respect for this person has worked against me like kryptonite. I am rendered powerless. Being vulnerable hurts... oh yeah that's what happens when you leave yourself vulnerable. I guess my stone has cracks in it.